How we Define Fear

“A man must stand in fear of just those things that truly have the power to do us harm, of nothing else, for nothing else is fearsome.”

— Dante (The Divine Comedy)

What guides our actions? What drives us in one direction or another?

We strive to act morally and courageously. We want to see ourselves as people who move the world towards the light. But when we no longer have the will to fight, what is left as motivation? It is fear.

We must ask ourselves: what it is that we struggle against each day? Each of us doubtless has our own answer. In our minds, we have created two realities hanging above our present experience. One is of pain and one is of bliss. And every moment, we make a choice: run from the first or run towards the later. The picture most present in our imaginations compels our perspective and our will.

I write to describe a method of achieving agency. Instead of a ship carried by invisible winds, we may navigate the world by orienting along the heavens. The blackness of night reveals a star-lit path towards freedom. Fear is a power that, through courage, can turn dreams into reality.

We fear that which may cause us harm. As simple as this motivation may seem, our fear’s ambiguity leads often to more harm than the subject of fear itself. For who am “I” and what is “harm”? How can I recognize that which is fearsome? Both of these notions are defined broadly and unconsciously; their sense changes by the minute. Thus, fear attacks us unpredictably from many angles, leaving us paralyzed and confused. To understand the self and to understand harm will lead us to our agency.

To discover the defintion of harm and the various aspects of self, we only have to observe our own lived experience. What does it truly mean to be harmed? We may quickly rush to the idea of pain. One who causes me pain is harmful. But there are countless cases where the fruit of our pain is benefit. Would we really consider exercise self-harm? Is a teacher’s scorn harming the child or leading them away from future harm? And the discomfort that arises during difficult conversations—would we classify this resolution as harm? Truly, harm is characterized by destruction, not pain. Whatever may have the power to destroy us, we fear. As is dictated by our primal nature, what we fear is death. The destruction of self.

But here we encounter an even more illusive concept. One which sits at the center of all experience. What is the self? Sticking your hand into a fire, the self quickly becomes the crying flesh. Following a loved one’s neglect, the self becomes an aching heart and an unrelenting stream of inner dialogue. And in social rejection, the self becomes the mosaic judgement of our community. In reality, there is no single self to be harmed or destroyed because our identity spans many dimensions. We fear the destruction of our physical (body), mental (ego), and social (reputation) identities. With this, we have a more precise definition of fear. We fear what may cause destruction to our identity in whatever form that identity may take.

So the question then becomes, which identity do you protect above all else? Given the choice between physical, social, and mental harm, which would you preserve? I would argue that true agency is tied to none of these illusory identities. In fact, these identities can be seen as tools to support who you really are.

The true self is expressed through the imagination. It is the reality that you truly wish to create. When you picture your experience at its brightest point, what does it look like? Who are you in that moment? This is who you truly are, and this is the self to be protected above all else. The body, the mind, and the reputation are tools to be used to express this self, but they are at most only reflections. Tragically however, this image is often corrupted by our many fears. Traumas and doubt restrict what we believe is possible. Over time, we abandon our ideals and settle for more realistic identities.

Misdirected fear is the root of this bondage. In understanding that this true self cannot be destroyed by anyone apart from ourselves, all things lose their power over us. The only object left to fear is ignorance of this truth. You can witness this truth for yourself in your next moment of fear: who are you in that moment and what is threatening its destruction? Will acting out of that fear move you closer the freedom or only restrict you further? You will find that in all cases, there is nothing that can harm who you are at your core. Remember who you are, and don’t let yourself forget. By becoming one defined by love, love itself will become your reality.

The night sky harbors infinite potential. There are galaxies beyond comprehension that lie beyond the black. You, however, can decide which stars to use as your compass. This is capability to choose is what makes you human.